Finding hidden hardware gems in bins of archaic cards at computer shows and swap meets is an ever-so-crucial nerd skill. Frequently the only way to discern the difference is to do an on-the-spot ID of the edge connector. True nerds should be able to identify even the most esoteric connector in their sleep (if they sleep with their eyes open, that is). Can you separate the crap from the kick ass? No cheating!
A. PCI-Express connector
B. DDR memory
C. Dual-channel RIMM
Any real nerd is almost sure to have a USB thumbdrive in his pocket at all times. After all, USB flash storage is pretty much the best way to keep data conveniently at hand. What the average nerd might not know, however, is that it’s possible to install all sorts of apps on a thumb drive, meaning that you can use your USB stick as a mobile platform for your browser, email and instant message client, office suite and more. That means you can access these programs, settings intact, from any computer with a spare USB slot.
It’s all made possible by PortableApps.com, an open source platform for portable software. To get started with PortableApps, go to this page and download whichever version of the portable suite suits your needs. Then run the installer, and choose to install to the root of your USB drive. In the future, if you want to add additional portable applications just download the app, then select “add a new app” from PortableApps’ options menu and browse to the .paf.exe file you downloaded.
Right now, there are portable versions of heavyweights like Firefox, Thunderbird, and OpenOffice, as well as a whole ton of other, awesome programs.
There are two quick ways to realign bent pins on older CPUs.
The first, quickest way is to take a credit card and run it through the rows of pins in each direction, which will realign lightly-bent pins.
If a pin is bent too far for the credit card trick, use the barrel of a mechanical pencil to sheath the pin and gently bend it back up straight.
Dreamweaver is for sissies; real geeks prove their skills by going old school and coding web pages by hand in notepad. But even if you can’t keep up with the newest iterations of hypertext markup language, you should still be able to at least edit website code to make minor adjustments. So in case you’ve forgotten, here are the 13 most basic HTML tags:
<h1> to <h6> — Heading styles from large to small
<p> — Start a new paragraph
<br> or <br /> — Create a single line break
<! – Your Comment Here — > — Make a hidden comment
<hr> — Mark the page with a horizontal rule line
<b> — Bold text
<em> — Emphasize text
<strong> — Strong emphasis
<i> — Italicize text
<u> — Underline text
— Insert a non-breaking space
<a href=”URL”> — Anchor a link
<img src= “URL” alt=”description”> — Insert an image
One of the most frustrating experiences in a nerd’s life is when a part you’ve bought turns out to be a dud. When something breaks, you have to hit up the customer service line, which can often be an excruciating process involving an endless circle of robotic menus, long hold times, and patronizing, outsourced technicians (yes, I am sure it’s plugged in, thank you for asking). However, there’s a couple of ways to make the process a little easier.
For one, if you’re stuck dealing with a robot phone menu, there’s usually a way to get through directly to a human operator. Generally, ignoring the prompts and repeatedly mashing the 0, 9, * or # keys will eventually confuse the system enough that it’ll send you to an operator. If you have a specific company that’s giving you trouble, where there’s an enormous list of customer service numbers, and how to get through to a human at each one.
Second, if you’re not having any luck with the “tier 1” tech support and they won’t elevate you when you ask, consider going over their heads yourself. Search for the phone number of the offending company’s corporate office (the Consumerist has a whole bunch available, or you can search for their corporate info on Yahoo! Finance, if they’re publically traded) and give them a call.
Admit it—you’ve cast some sidelong glances at OS X, wondering to yourself if Apple’s shiny OS really lives up to the hype. Well we’re here to tell you that it’s OK to be curious.
Even if your pro-PC leanings have prohibited you from buying a Mac, they don’t have to keep you from trying out OS X. The kind folks over at LifeHacker have posted a how-to about making a Hackintosh—a system custom-built from non-Apple components running OS X. So go ahead; let yourself experiment. Who knows, you might just like it.
For quite a while, watching streaming TV on the internet meant suffering through tiny, poorly encoded video on YouTube, 10 minutes at a time, hoping whatever you were watching didn’t get removed before you were done. But those times are behind us now, with a host of corporate-sponsored sites offering legal, ad-supported shows and movies in (comparatively) luxurious resolution.
So what are the options available? Hulu’s still pretty much the best site out there, offering a huge array of full-length shows from NBC, FOX, Comedy Central, FX and others. Veoh.com hosts ABC’s programs, as well as others, and YouTube has recently reached an agreement with CBS to host their shows. One of our favorite video services is southparkstudios.com, which hosts every potty-mouthed episode of South Park for viewing on demand.
Streaming movies are just now becoming available from several sources. Hulu has a modest selection of free flicks, NetFlix offers streaming movies to subscribers, and Amazon, Blockbuster.com and others allows you to stream videos for a per-movie fee.
Are the content restrictions on public computers cramping your style. Don’t worry about it; there’s two easy ways to bypass those filters completely.
If you’re just doing some normal web browsing, and aren’t planning to send any passwords or sensitive information, you can try using a simple web proxy. Proxy.org maintains a list of free anonymous proxies. If you’re worried about privacy, using Tor is a more secure option. If you install Tor on a copy of the (aforementioned) portable edition of Firefox, and keep it with you on a USB drive, you can surf the web anonymously from any computer that allows you to run your own software.
3.14 may have been enough accuracy for 10th grade geometry, but it’s just not going to win you any respect from the other nerds. We consider 23 places the bare minimum for pi memorization.
If you’re having trouble dealing with all that, try “chunking” your memory. That is to say, instead of simply trying to remember each number in sequence (a task that humans tend not to be very good at) try to remember the numbers in groups or chunks that have more significance for you. If that’s not doing it for you, consider piems—stories and poems structured around digits of pi.
For the record, pi is: 3.141592653589793238462643…
Hard drive failure is more common than you think, but the culprit isn’t always a faulty platter. If your hard disk goes dead and you didn’t hear any screeching death rattles, one thing you could always try is replacing the drive’s controller board. It’s a long shot, but an essential skill nonetheless that occasionally works.
Replacing a hard drive’s controller circuit is as simple as unscrewing the PCB board from the bottom of the drive and detaching the ribbon connector. Make sure you can do this without exposing any of the drive’s internals. You also have to make sure that the new board comes from EXACTLY the same hard drive model as your defective unit – the make, model, and even firmware have to match. Mount the new board in with the same screws and connect the ribbon cable. If you did everything right and the problem was indeed the controller board, you should be able to retrieve your data.
There are a lot of ways to increase the performance of your PC. But what fun is it unless you can actually see how much faster your machine runs. You might be able to get a vague idea of how much it’s improved by observing its performance while playing games, but unless you thoroughly benchmark your computer you’ll never know for sure. Professional-grade benchmarking software like we use for our reviews here at Maximum PC runs pretty pricey, but it’s not impossible to benchmark your system using entirely free software.
A. PCI-Express connector
B. DDR memory
C. Dual-channel RIMM
Run All Your Essential Apps on a USB Stick
It’s all made possible by PortableApps.com, an open source platform for portable software. To get started with PortableApps, go to this page and download whichever version of the portable suite suits your needs. Then run the installer, and choose to install to the root of your USB drive. In the future, if you want to add additional portable applications just download the app, then select “add a new app” from PortableApps’ options menu and browse to the .paf.exe file you downloaded.
Right now, there are portable versions of heavyweights like Firefox, Thunderbird, and OpenOffice, as well as a whole ton of other, awesome programs.
Straighten the Pins on an Older CPU
The first, quickest way is to take a credit card and run it through the rows of pins in each direction, which will realign lightly-bent pins.
If a pin is bent too far for the credit card trick, use the barrel of a mechanical pencil to sheath the pin and gently bend it back up straight.
Know the 13 Basic HTML Tags
<h1> to <h6> — Heading styles from large to small
<p> — Start a new paragraph
<br> or <br /> — Create a single line break
<! – Your Comment Here — > — Make a hidden comment
<hr> — Mark the page with a horizontal rule line
<b> — Bold text
<em> — Emphasize text
<strong> — Strong emphasis
<i> — Italicize text
<u> — Underline text
— Insert a non-breaking space
<a href=”URL”> — Anchor a link
<img src= “URL” alt=”description”> — Insert an image
Get Through to Executive Customer Service
For one, if you’re stuck dealing with a robot phone menu, there’s usually a way to get through directly to a human operator. Generally, ignoring the prompts and repeatedly mashing the 0, 9, * or # keys will eventually confuse the system enough that it’ll send you to an operator. If you have a specific company that’s giving you trouble, where there’s an enormous list of customer service numbers, and how to get through to a human at each one.
Second, if you’re not having any luck with the “tier 1” tech support and they won’t elevate you when you ask, consider going over their heads yourself. Search for the phone number of the offending company’s corporate office (the Consumerist has a whole bunch available, or you can search for their corporate info on Yahoo! Finance, if they’re publically traded) and give them a call.
Beat Quake in Under an Hour
The speedrun seems to be a lost art. Sure, new games like Mirror’s Edge encourage that you replay its levels in a time trial mode to compete against other players in the world, but these sanctioned game modes don’t carry the credibility or audacity of classic Quake speed runners. We’re still amazed every time we watch a video of someone beating all of Quake in less than 15 minutes. It’s not just the brevity of the run that impresses us; it’s how elegant and gracefully these players navigate through levels, capitalizing on every perfectly aimed rocket jump and timed bunny hop to shave seconds off of their run time. Watch and learn from these masters.Build a Hackintosh
Watch TV Shows on the Internet (Legally!)
So what are the options available? Hulu’s still pretty much the best site out there, offering a huge array of full-length shows from NBC, FOX, Comedy Central, FX and others. Veoh.com hosts ABC’s programs, as well as others, and YouTube has recently reached an agreement with CBS to host their shows. One of our favorite video services is southparkstudios.com, which hosts every potty-mouthed episode of South Park for viewing on demand.
Streaming movies are just now becoming available from several sources. Hulu has a modest selection of free flicks, NetFlix offers streaming movies to subscribers, and Amazon, Blockbuster.com and others allows you to stream videos for a per-movie fee.
Get Around the Content Filter on Public Computers
If you’re just doing some normal web browsing, and aren’t planning to send any passwords or sensitive information, you can try using a simple web proxy. Proxy.org maintains a list of free anonymous proxies. If you’re worried about privacy, using Tor is a more secure option. If you install Tor on a copy of the (aforementioned) portable edition of Firefox, and keep it with you on a USB drive, you can surf the web anonymously from any computer that allows you to run your own software.
Recite pi to 23 Decimal Places
If you’re having trouble dealing with all that, try “chunking” your memory. That is to say, instead of simply trying to remember each number in sequence (a task that humans tend not to be very good at) try to remember the numbers in groups or chunks that have more significance for you. If that’s not doing it for you, consider piems—stories and poems structured around digits of pi.
For the record, pi is: 3.141592653589793238462643…
Replace the Controller Board on a Hard Drive
Replacing a hard drive’s controller circuit is as simple as unscrewing the PCB board from the bottom of the drive and detaching the ribbon connector. Make sure you can do this without exposing any of the drive’s internals. You also have to make sure that the new board comes from EXACTLY the same hard drive model as your defective unit – the make, model, and even firmware have to match. Mount the new board in with the same screws and connect the ribbon cable. If you did everything right and the problem was indeed the controller board, you should be able to retrieve your data.
Benchmark Your Computer